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Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
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Deirdre hugs David round the cobbles, tells him he’s worth his weight in
gold and that his eye witness account of Tracy killing Charlie in self
defence will keep Little Miss Murder out of jail. All this attention makes
David realise he could indeed be sitting on a gold mine. But hey, aren’t
we all, if we choose to work it that way? Anyway, I digress. David comes
onto Tracy, telling her he hopes, with a nasty gleam in his eye, that she’ll
be very, very grateful for his lies to the cops. Tracy knows exactly what
young Master Platt wants but instead of a bit of slap and tickle she gives
him Charlie’s car radio. “It’ll do, for now” says David. Tracy’s fed up stuck
indoors so gets Deirdre to give her £40 on the pretence of going into
town to buy clothes for Amy. Instead, she heads straight to the pub. Getting
totally trashed, Tracy comes on to Dev who has the good sense to shrug her
off. When Ken and Deirdre come in the pub later, as you hoped they would,
they’re gobsmacked to find Tracy drunk. Tracy can’t be doing with the lecture
from her parents and runs out of the pub to a club in a taxi to spend the
night with some bloke she picks up. “It’s scandalous, it’s outrageous!”
says Blanche. And just for good measure, she says “It’s scandalous” twice
before calling her granddaughter a “…hardfaced slut - and you didn’t get
that from me!”
Roy and Hayley splash the cash on a new, old car. It’s a Morris Minor
Traveller, more commonly known as a Woody. I can’t have been the only Corrie
fan to have sniggered every time Roy talked about his woody, can I? I know,
it’s childish, immature and just proves that I should act my age, not my
shoe size. But when Kevin Webster came over with his toolbox to do an inspection
around the rim, I laughed so much that tea squirted from my nose. Painful?
Oh yes. Anyway, the car, now officially known as Roy and Hayley’s pride
and joy, goes missing when Slug and Becky take it for a joyride on the moors.
Becky’s against it at first, she doesn’t want to upset the Croppers but
Slug persuades her to nick the car with him and off they go… vroom, vroom,
hang on a minute, let’s just get it warmed up, vroom, vroom, hang on, nearly
got it going, vroom vroom - and off they puttered at 15mph. When Becky wakes
up the next morning, she’s alone with the Woody (snigger, sorry) and after
an argument with Slug, he drives off and leaves her alone then abandons
the car. When the police ring Roy to say that they they’ve found it, Becky’s
coat is on the back seat. Hayley sacks her and tells her they want nowt more
to do wi’er. Best line of the week went to Roy on taking delivery of the
new car. As he hands the car keys to Hayley, he says, somewhat proudly: “My
wife’s the driver. I prefer to be one of life’s passengers”. And sometimes,
Roy, that’s the only way to enjoy the view even if you don’t go in the direction
you expect and the driver can be rather grumpy.
Over at Underworld, Carla’s range of kids clothes gets off to a bad
start when the buyer wants smaller pockets. Smaller pockets? On kids clothes?
Then where are they going to put their pet frogs, chewed up toffees, dead
mice, Sky+ remote control that everyone in the house has been looking
for and assumed that odd bloke from number three had nicked last time
he was round? Kelly and Jo go into overdrive with overtime and Liam makes
his interest in Jo very clear. There was snogging by the bobbins on the
factory floor. Kelly still thinks she’s in with a chance with Liam, which
she’s not. Jo dumps Adam by text message and he joins Steve and Jamie in
the Rovers, musing and maudlin over which of them really is the biggest
loser. Just when it looked like Steve was going to win it with “I still live
with me mum”, Adam comes in to bag the loser prize, for having been dumped
by his girlfriend and for having stupid hair.
Rita’s mate Doreen Fenwick turns up, older but not much wiser from
their days spent together in the Charlie Roscoe Exotic Dance Troupe. She
meets Norris first. “Can I do anything for you?” Norris asks the blonde,
brazen soap oap as she lingers outside of the Kabin. Doreen gives him a
quick up and down and then: “I shouldn’t think so, no”. She comes with
the kind of telly dialogue heard in Open All Hours. It’s N-N-N-Nurse Gladys
Emmanuel all over again, but I’m not complaining, I love this sort of stuff.
She chats up Bill Webster and squashes the confectionary with her ample
bosom. “Are you going to hang around the shop and sexually harass all the
male customers?” Norris asks Doreen, and she gives him a look to say, yes,
she probably is. Over drinks in the Rovers, Doreen and Rita catch up on
over 30 years apart with Norris and Emily listening in to the gossip from
Doreen, ending up with the punch line: “… and that’s the last time I ever
ate a chipolata!”
Over in the Rovers, Michelle finally gets the chance to introduce new
fella Sonny to Sean but it appears the two men already know each other,
in ways that would take the shine of Michelle’s glossy bob if she found out
just how. Sondip, as Sean knew him way back when, broke Sean’s heart and
told him he was bisexual, dumped him and left. “There’s no such thing as
bisexual” says Sean, “It’s just greed”. Sonny begs Sean not to say anything
to Michelle and firmly tells Sean what’s in the past must stay there. The
thing is though, it looks like Sean’s going to have trouble keeping it put.
Odd throwaway line of the week went to Steve, walking along the cobbles,
coming out of (I think) Eileen’s house. As he closed the door behind him
he shouted through: “You’ll be needing the jelly mould!” Wonderful
stuff from Jonathan Harvey again. Anyway, Steve gets drunk in the
Rovers when Michelle tells him quite clearly she doesn’t fancy him and will
never go out with him, no way, not never, no how. Sean returns to the pub
to clear up and Steve’s sitting at the bar much the worse for wear after
a few too many, moaning about Michelle. “Is it cos I’m fat?” he asks Sean,
showing off his hairy beer belly and wondering why he’s not a hit with
the ladies. Bless him, he did offer Jamie a job on the cabs though. Well,
if Les can do it, anyone can.
And finally this week, Cilla’s called in to see Chesney’s headmaster
who tells her that Ches’ behaviour at school has deteriorated badly since
Cilla thought she had cancer. She determines to shape up and get Chesney
back living with her and Les, decides to turn over a new leaf and gets
Les to wallpaper the living room. Well, it’s a start.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
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