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Life without Chesney at the Battersby’s gives everyone the blues and
makes Janice feel bad at forcing him to live with his mother. And
just when we were writing off Cilla as a stubborn stain on the gusset of
life, she roars back on the cobbles in an Alfa Romeo sports car (in obligatory
red) with a scarf around her head, dark glasses across her eyes and an extra
roll of fat around her midriff. She tells Les she’s come into money, her
Aunty Di’s died and left her loads of dosh. Fiz knows Di’s dying is
lies but Les falls for it and they go for a spin in the car with the Quo on
CD and Les in the passenger seat. “Foller that car!” Janice yells to
Patrick as she jumps into his cab and they go racing after Cilla and Les.
When they finally catch up with them, the car’s up an alley with the seats
down and snogging inside. The windows would’ve steamed up if it hadn’t
been a convertible. After giving Les a thrashing with her handbag, Janice
tells Patrick to take her back to the street where she moves her stuff back
to her flat. Les begs her forgiveness but she’s heard it before and
won’t listen again. As Les hobbles away from Cilla in his one shoe (t’other’s
gone missing in the heat of passion, as these things are wont to do) he says
he wants nowt more to do with her - until she pulls alongside him in the sports
car and he jumps back in for another bumpy ride with Cilla.
Stop the press, hold your horses, turn back the tide. Martin and Katy
are back together again. Gail’s not best pleased and tells Martin what
she thinks about his fling with a younger girl. “It’s not a crime to enjoy
life, Gail.” he tells the woman who wears a life sentence of misery on
her head. And when Sarah and David take sides with their mother, Martin
says he won’t have his love life run by his family and tells Sarah: “I
will not be accountable to a 17 year old girl!” to which she yells back
at him: “Except the one you live with!”. Oh yes, she’s her mother’s
daughter all right. Tommy’s unsettled by this turn of events
in his daughter’s life and tells Martin he’ll get him back for it one day.
“Oh yeah? And how’re you gonna do that then?” says Martin, voice quivering
slightly. “I’ll kill yer” says Tommy, eyes glinting madly.
Fred spies Penny and Ciaran cosy in the Rovers and tells Mike his lady
friend’s having an affair behind his back and under his nose. What’s
really going on is that Penny and Ciaran have gone into business together
and have bought a wine bar, as you do of a Thursday when there’s nowt much
on the telly. Mike makes a fool of himself when he reads Penny’s text
message from Ciaran and turns up at their business meeting accusing them
of all sorts. When Penny tells him the truth, Mike says she’s made a
bad decision to go into business with the barman, and he puts Fred straight
on the gossip: “It’s more of a takeover than a leg over.” Meanwhile,
Ciaran allows Tracy the run of his flat and even gives her a key so she can
take herself and the baby there whenever she needs to escape the tut-tutting
disapproval of Ken, Deirdre and Blanche.
Harry’s undervalued at Underworld when Jamie helps out doing a bit of
driving, a bit of sweeping, a bit of cleaning, a bit of everything that
Harry used to do. He tells Danny he’s leaving and walks out of the
factory into the pub to spend his last pay packet, hoping not to bump into
Frankie. She’s already upset him when she criticised the fashion sense of
his dead daughter when Harry brought a box of her old clothes for Emily’s
jumble sale. Poor Harry. He feels he wants to spread his wings, see
a bit of life, take off, for instance, in a camper van and see the world.
Could it be a coincidence? I think not. There’s Harry desperate for
travel and adventure and here’s Roy and Hayley in their campervan and a
bad mood after a trip fraught with difficulties and a chemical toilet.
Roy brought back with them a railway signal and a signalman’s hat; the signalman
perhaps preferring to wait at his post. The Croppers decide a camper van
life isn’t for them and plan the rest of their holiday by train on days out
and picnics.
And finally this week it’s good news for Sally as Rosie gets accepted
at posh Oakhill School. Kev can’t understand how his daughter’s been accepted
without an interview or test but when the Oakhill School bus appears at
the garage for free servicing it becomes clear to Kev that Sally’s bribed
the headmaster.
Right, that’s me off to the Great British Beer Festival at Olympia now
(Tues) where I’ll be tasting the likes of Daffy’s Elixir, Fuggle dee Dum
and Umble Ale, followed by a swift half of Betty Stogs. And if I survive
all that, and more, hic, I’ll be sending the update out tomorrow (Weds).
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
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