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It's Janice and Les' 5th wedding anniversary (although he's
forgotten - as if you need me telling you that) and Janice asks
Toyah to make herself scarce that evening so she can cook Les
a romantic dinner. This leaves Toyah and the lovely Spider looking
for a bit of peace and quiet themselves and Hayley agrees they
can have the caf to themselves while Spider prepares Yam Mash.
Now, I've been a vegetarian (ahem) since I was 18 years old, which
is.. er.. well.. quite a few years ago now and I've eaten so me
weird and wonderful things (fish fingers with lentils springs
to mind) but if anyone offered me Yam Mash I'd tell them where
to stick it. Well, perhaps not the lovely Spider. I'd eat it,
just for him. But I digress. As things are steaming up in the
caf and our two lovebirds are cooing (somewhat familiarly) to
each other - Spider: "Mad innit? All these weeks, these months
and me never knowing" Toyah: "I tried hard enough to
tell yer!" in walks Les with a chamber pot. He's been to
an auction with Charlie West where he bought the gazunda, then
stumbles into the caf in search of food only to be told by Toyah
that she and Spider are trying out veggie recipes for Roy and
he should get himself home sharp-like for a romantic anniversary
dinner. Toyah stuffs into the chamber pot the bunch of flowers
that the lovely Spider had bought for her. So off he goes home
to Janice for dinner and rumpy pumpy before Janice spills the
beans about Toyah and Spider. "You mean that dozy crusty's
sleeping wi' our Toyah?" he yells before storming round to
the caf and trying to pull the legs off Spider before flushing
him down the toilet, no doubt. Fortunately (for Spider, bless
him) all the noise brings Hayley downstairs and she sorts out
the lot of them. Spider manages to sweet talk Emily into letting
Toyah stay there for a while after the fall-out with Les. Aunty
Em agrees, on the understanding that no hanky panky goes on under
her roof. They both agree, well, at least they try not to have
any h-p but hormones being hormones and all, well, Aunty Em is
not best pleased when she finds out and throws Toyah out. Curly,
bless him, lets the young lovers use his spare room, while worrying
about incurring the wrath of Les next door.
Maxine moans to Audrey about not having a bridesmaid at her
wedding and Ashley is all of a fluster when he thinks about having
to get into the aeroplane for the honeymoon. In the Rovers, Vinny
tells Ashley: "Count yourself lucky. You've got a beautiful
girl who wants to obey you. You'll never want for owt." Mmm.seems
to me that any bloke wanting an obedient "girl", would
be more suited to owning a cocker spaniel bitch perhaps.
Meanwhile, Sharon bawls her eyes out (again) over a bloke (again)
and is comforted (again) by Rita. She's sure summat's up, and
over a close-up shot of a glass of wine (which can only mean one
thing in Corra - a downward alcoholic spiral into oblivion - nothing
less!) confides in Sally and asks her if Danny could have been
seeing another woman. Sally hates all this, deceiving her bessie
mate and all that but if I was writing this script, I'd send bland
Danny back to his lampshades and knicker stalls - forever - while
Sharon and Sally get themselves a life and stop fighting over
him yawnzzzzz.. Some good scenes though between Sally and Sharon
when Sharon eventually finds out the truth about Sally and Danny
- lots of tears, screams and gurning.
Vera's driving home from the supermarket after offering Judy
a lift home, but she crashes into something in the supermarket
car park and Judy hurts her leg. It's pretty badly bruised but
she refuses to go to the doctor. Gary's a bit concerned but she
insists it's not too bad (when it is really, she just doesn't
want to admit it). One of the baby twins says their first word
to Judy: "Dada?" A touching line this week from Judy:
"You're a nice man, Gary Mallett, that's why I love you".
Anyway, Vera's car is taken into casualty at Kevin's garage and
young Tyrone notices the back door doesn't close quite properly.
Upon investigation, it's obvious the car is made up of two halves,
a "cut and shut".
Glenda ;-)
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