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Monday 11 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - October 3 2005

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Glenda was on holiday. This week's update written by John Dean


I'm not sure what Richard and Janet have been doing in the update chair but I'll just spread a sheet of newspaper over it before I sit down ...Now, where were we? Oh yes - Diggory is kneading his dough and making jokes about buns,  baps, big `uns, long `uns and hot boxes while Liz runs round like an extra in a Benny Hill show. And in the caff Tracy is showing off the new Amys to Nathan in the
hopes of making Steve jealous. And Janice the Blackmailer is capitalising on her hold over Danny by staying out to have an extra ciggy and pointing out to him that the  nicknames he gives the grrrlz are offensive and boring at the same  time. And she starts calling him Baldy. Gail discovers that Phil is still seeing Eileen (well, he could  hardly miss her, could he?) and tells him to sling his hook. So the chances of her becoming Gail Nail recede. Pity. But the Too Tall Toe Fiddler smashes the cassettes he made of Gail and Sarah talking  about life with a serial killer and it's all back on again. The grrrlz follow Lloyd to see if he is two-timing the one whose  name I can never remember. He is, unless there is some innocent  explanation for a bloke eating a woman's face. No, didn't think so. Violet and Jason come back drunk from a night clubbing and, contrary  to all the good advice she's had, Violet tells Jason she kissed  Charlie. He immediately finishes with her. And the next day tells  Charlie where to stick his job. And despite everyone speaking up for  Vi and telling Jason what a lovely girl she is, she stays dumped. Much sadness, pathos and bathos. Indeed, several of the Musketeers
put in an appearance. Danny gives Leanne the heave-ho and decides that releases him from  the blackmailing grip of the poison dwarf. So he docks her wages.  She complains "I'm short" and he tells her not to wear stripes. Danny and Lee decide to have one last night - to go out, would you  believe, with a bang. But Jamie proposes to Lee and she chooses to  go with him on a knicker delivery run to Holland, leaving Danny in  the lurch via a voicemail.

Meantime back at Streetcars, George has resigned. George? Who's  George? Anyone remember a George? No? Clearly invented just so he  could resign and Steve could recruit a new cabbie who turns out to  be the voluptuous Veronica aka Ronnie. Who confirms to her  prospective employer that she is flexible. And that night and day  are all the same to her. And it turns out Leanne has left her phone behind and, by a series  of unlikely coincidences, Roy believes it's Frankie's phone and Vera  takes it round to Frankie. In time for Frank to get a call from  Danny who thinks he's phoning Lee (keep up at the back) and dives in  with "You wanted it yesterday and you want it now." Which Frankie  takes amiss.

Incidentally, several of this week's episodes were directed by Rob  Rohrer. Who was at the same University as my wife. Imagine two young  undergraduates filled with ambition. And one ends up herding actors  round a draughty set in Manchester and the other ends up married to  me! I bet Rob is secretly a bitter man and has probably taken to  drink. While Mrs Dean wakes up singing. Isn't life strange?

Well, that's yer lot. Glenda will be back next week to tickle your  jaded palates.
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