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Glenda was away, this week's update was written by Ruth Carey.
This episode opens with Gary [holder of the 'Emotional Wimp
of the year' competition] tittle tattling to Ashley about how
Zoe had gone for Emily. Ashley, bless his cotton socks is still
fiercely loyal and defends Zoe's action. Zoe meantime is studying
the fake leather on the sofa and is in a world of her own.
Meanwhile, in the Rovers back room, Vera is still trying to
persuade Jack to go to the hypnotherapist about his smoking. She
has made an appointment to see Magenta Savannah, [i thought this
was a shade of household emulsion paint but there you go]. Jack
is still not convinced but Nastily says that he may come back
a new man, Vera can only hope.
La Mouton is still by Jim's bedside, talking to him as if he
were still awake, but I suspect probably sending him deeper into
a coma if only to escape. Gareh and Judeh arrive and Liz tells
them to talk to him as if he could hear them! [I'm saying nowt].
Back to Magenta Savannah's. After causing a backdraft by fluttering
her eyelashes at Jack, Magenta successfully dismisses Vera and
tells her to come back in an hour. She bids Jack to lay down on
the couch and close his eyes and relax. Jack falls under her spell
straightaway. "What is the first image that comes into your
mind". [Does a vacuum contain anything?] Jack slips into
'Lusty Jack of Weatherfield ooarr". [Coming from the west
country I find this a bit odd, anyway]. Magenta then wants to
get in touch with another part of his brain and asks "to
speak with his pleasure part" [I'm saying nothing]. After
she has got in touch with his pleasure part, not surprisingly
she seems keen to get back to his sub-conscious.
Meanwhile, back at the Rovers. Kevin and Steve are holding
up the bar and in an effort to make conversation Kevin asks him
about Jim so he does. Steve's eyeballs give a shifty swivel like
a couple of chair castors in a socket and says very little. As
they are having their tete a tete, Des is honing his chat up skills
with Nastily.
A quick flashback to Magentas and Jack is still under her spell.
Maybe she should practise on herself to get rid of all that verbal
diahorrea. She tells Jack to imagine a room filled with every
cigarette he's ever smoked and to imagine having one cigarette
in his hand. He is to light that cigarette and then set light
to all the others. Lots of euphemistic banter about smokey rooms
and feeling and smelling fresh air follows.
Steve just can't escape, he's now back at home being grilled
again by La Mouton about the accident, again!
Back to the Rovers, early evening shift and Nastily, Des and
Kev are all revved up with no where interesting to go, except
the football match. In a fetching ensemble of green and white
knitwear, the three stooges make their way to watch 'the cup'
but not before Kevin has broken the news to Sally that Natalie
is going with them. [Sally has been to Fiona's for a new haircut
by the looks of it].
Vera and Jack are back from Magenta's and Vera is enthusing
about Jack's cure although she has been warned by the lovely Ms
Savannah that he may slip back to Lusty Jack and that she must
be told if this happens.
Ashley is consulting [in the loosest possible sense of the
word] Nurse Florence Platt about poor Zoe's state of mind. Martin
says he [Ashley that is] has to get help for Zoe. Steve is nicely
crisp and browned on one side and is now being grilled on the
other by La Mouton, still.
Ah! TGIF... Jack's still doing his impression of a cocaine
user and sniffs the 'fresh air' at every excuse. [Obviously giving
up ciggies is not something to be sniffed at]. After Jack drops
a clanger about the football match, Nastily and Orange woman are
wibbling about the previous night. Sam is not amused that Natalie
is seeing Des. Natalie denies she is seeing him, they are just
mates [no Natalie, thats what you use, not what you are].
At the House of Elliott, Nicky is seen holding a letter [non,
not a la francaise] but one from Whately. He practically drags
Leanne up the street so he can read the letter. Back indoors,
Ashley and Zoe are talking, Ashley with a comforting arm round
her shoulders. Zoe's character adds an extra dimension as she
tells Ashley about her life and how she has been moved from one
childrens home to another and from one foster parent to another.
The last thing she needs right now is intervention from a non-caring
do gooder of a social worker, she's had enough of them. Ashley
tries to convince her just to go and see the doctor.
Back up Coronation Street, Tilly reads Whateleys letter and
tells Leanne that he [Whateley] wants to meet her. Leanne is not
sure. [Personally speaking, what kind of man [hah! there is the
crux of the matter] sets his wife up like this and puts her in
obvious danger by giving her real name and address- more of this
later].
Sam's face goes a shade deeper, Magenta perhaps, as she confronts
Natalie again about her date with Des. In the Rovers Return, Jack
D is now regressing, or reversing as Vera likes to say, to Lusty
Jack Johnson, funny how nobody but Vera seems to believe him.
[Oh the blessed safety of disillusionment Vera!]
All is calm, for the moment at the House of Elliott, I say,
all is calm for now. Then Ashley makes the stupid suggestion of
the year when he asks Zoe if she wants to give Shannon's stuff
to Gareh and Judeh for their new baby.
Back at the Rovers Sam is still doing a bad job of convincing
Natalie that she doesn't care what she and Des do. Jack suddenly
metamorphoses into Lusty Jack and offers to take Natalie "out
to the stables, while the harodan is absent". From one old
mare to another, Jack just can't make up his mind.
It looks like Leanne's character is finally being allowed to
grow up as she becomes more and more reluctant to go along with
silly Tilly's plan. Ashley has now gone to work and Zoe is about
to light up a ciggie when, horror of horrors, no ciggies and no
money. She goes round to the Kabin and asks Leanne for some fags.
She says she's not going to pay for them and that Leanne should
nick them for her. Leanne sensibly says no, and that Zoe shouldn't
ask her. At this point, Rita appears. Leanne covers for Zoe and
tells Rita that Zoe's forgotten her purse. Rita, with a kind heart
says not to worry and that Zoe can drop by next time with the
money. Zoe lights up but continues to flick her lighter on and
off. After Zoe has gone Rita says, "it will only take one
small spark to set her off". [I love them corny lines]
Later on at the Rovers, Fred gives us our first hint that maybe
Jack is not completely under Magenta's spell but is actually doing
an on-screen audition to play the Baddie in Pantomime at Blackpool
this Xmas. After fetching his 'regular tincture' from our favourite
schizophrenic, Fred joins Rita and Emily. They tell him about
how Zoe bit Rita's head off and then tells him and show him Emily's
face where Zoe hit her the other day. Fred is visibly shocked
and makes a point of going to see Ashley to get Zoe some professional
help.
Back to the scene of the crime, La Mouton lights the grill
and starts on Gareh, who is clueless [whats new] about what happened.
Steve comes out to meet her and is still shifty and optically
swivelly when she asks him more questions about what happened.
Gary obviously suspects something is not quite right about the
'accident' and it shows on his face. The machninations of his
brain [!] are clearly visible in his expression. Warning: do not
ask this man to be your partner in a game of bridge or poker!
We return to the Rovers where 'Lusty Jack' partakes of Natalies
rear [he pinches her backside] then tries to sample the ample
Betty, but she's not going to be Lusty Jacks Hot Pot and promptly
slaps him across the face.
Meanwhile back at the House of Elliot, Leanne tells Zoe off
again about asking her to nick stuff and that she actually likes
her job and doesnt want to lose it. She reassures Zoe that people
do care about her but Zoe runs out of the house almost knocking
Nick over. Despite his feeble attempts to get Leanne to sort out
about meeting Whateley, Leanne rightly goes after Zoe instead
and tells Nick to 'Stuff it'!! [yay and thrice Yay!!]
In the corner shop, whilst clutching a tub of margarine, Kevin
assures Liz that Jims job is there for him whenever he wants.
[Yeah, like this bit of news is bound to pull him out of a coma
so it is!]
Just as Judeh and Gareh are settling down for the evening,
Gareh talking about Jim's accident, there is a loud knocking and
shouting at the door. It isn't Guy Fawkes night but it is Zoe,
screaming her head off at them telling them that they are mean
and horrible. They wanted Shannon and now that she's gone they've
got their own and don't care about how Zoe feels. Here comes the
Guy Fawkes bit. Zoe pours paraffin over the pram full of Shannon's
stuff, sets light to it and pushes it towards Gary. He jumps out
of the way and grabs Zoe, shouting at her and telling her she's
mad. Just the sort of stuff she needs to hear. This episode concludes
with Ashley comforting Zoe and assuring Gary that he will get
her some help.
Still with me? Hope its not too long winded!
Sunday evening and Tilly is still nagging poor Leanne about
meeting Whateley. Has the boy no sense at all? Along the way,
Zoe is still on planet zog and nothing is going to get her back
to earth it seems. In the Rovers, Betty and Natalie accuse Jack
of harrassment, he still makes out he knows nothing and gullible
Vera still believes he's 'reversing'. Steve asks Fiona why she
doesnt believe him. Erm...where does she start?
When Fred sees Ashley about Zoe and says she ought to see a
Psychologist, Maud suggests an Exorcist would be better. Fred
suggests that maybe Zoe should have electric chair treatment.
Wicked. Maud corrects him and says maybe he means ECT [electric
current treatment]. Fred says he knows what he means.
Jack is still vacillating between reality and regression. Des
strides into the Rovers with his size 13's and loudly suggests
a meal in an Italian restaurant to Natalie, ensuring that not
only Sam hears but the people in Baldwins factory and Rita in
the Kabin. [visions fill my head of the scene in lady and the
tramp [oh how deliciously apt] where they are sucking on their
linguine and meatballs]. {This line is dedicated to CP for reasons
I'd rather not go into:)] JD slips into Lusty Jack and declares
he has to go to the stables and see to the mares. He escapes from
Vera's clutches and disappears down Coronation Street to the Bookies.
Proof enough that Jack has been pulling peoples plonkers as well
as their pints.
Back to the House of Elliott where Zoe is doing a DIY job on
her golden tresses. In walks Ashley with the Doctor who asks Zoe
if she's been to the hairdressers next door for a new style. ROFLMAO
a brilliant line! Seems that not only are Fiona and Maxine known
as Muppets 1 & 2 but they also want everyone else to look
like one. Anyway, Zoe is finally led off into the ambulance voluntarily
[without being sectioned] but her final attack is on poor Ashley
as she tells him that he has let her down and she never wants
to see him again. Aaaaaahhh.
To the hospital so it is, and could Jim be giving up the ghost,
no, he's just choking on his tube. It's enough to scare Steve
but is it enough to prick his conscience into saying something.
Nah, course not. Back at the flat Steve finally confesses to Fiona
that the accident is his fault, and Fiona tells him that he has
got to tell Liz or someone.
Monday night's episode opens with poor Ashley still struggling
with misplaced guilt. He did the right thing. Leanne tells Tilly
she no longer wants to be involved with his little scheme and
becomes, quite rightly so, very worried and concerned about the
whole thing. It's now Fiona's turn to grill Steven to a crisp.
She points out that if Jim comes out of the coma he's going to
tell the truth. Turns out that all Steve is worried about is paying
his Dad compensation and that this will ruin him financially.
Oh the ties that bind, its almost like the Waltons, not!!! Do
I spy a devious look in Steve's eye, is there a sub-plot emerging.
There is now confirmation that Fred was in on Jack's joke as
they giggle like a couple of school girls, I say giggle. Orangina
and Nastily are arguing and Sam threatens to move out. Natalie
says she can do what she likes.
Back at the house of Elliott, Tilly forges Leannes signature
on a letter and posts it with a photo to Whately. Oh what tangled
webs we weave...
Returning to the Rovers and Jack's still auditioning for panto,
oh no he isn't, oh yes he is. And surprise, one of my favourites
makes an entrance. Roy enters the Rovers. Within two seconds Vera's
told him about Jack's regressions and Roy whips out his spiral
secretarial [lined] and clicks the button on his biro. He says
that this is an ideal opportunity to discover local history as
it really was. He sits down with Fred and Jack and begins to chat.
Roy may be a bit of an anorak but the lad knows his history. As
he interviews 'Lusty Jack' about what events were happening, Jack
gets further and further into the mire. Lets face it, Jack is
not a graduate with a history degree. As he looks to Fred for
help, regrettably Fred is no help and 'Lusty' suddenly changes
back to Jack. Phew, that was a close one.
To the hospital so we are. La Mouton is telling Jim about how
she felt about him when they were first together. I thought she
was giving him a blanket bath but realised it was just her blubbering.
Gawd, its enough to send him deeper into his coma, just to escape.
Then, suddenly, is it a miracle? can he hear her? [would he admit
to it?] Jim's eyes start to blink so they do. 'Nurse, Nurse!!'
The nurse comes over to check him then heartlessly [I thought]
told Liz not to get excited, people in coma's often have involuntary
muscle actions. Good job, its the only way Steve and Tilly could
get through a whole episode!
Kut to the Kabin... Leanne has to tell somebody whats troubling
her and she confides in Rita who finds it totally incredulous
that Nicky could do such a thing. Later on they both confront
Nicky who finally looks suitably guilty and realises how stupid
he's been. [?!!!!]
Vera pays a return visit to Magenta Savannahs parlour to find
that she has now got a different persona, according to the days
of the week she's either a hypnotherapist or a Gypsy Rose Lea
type telling fortunes. She tells Vera she can see her in a bungalow.
After Vera has told her that she's come about Jacks problem, Magenta
persuades Vera that she should try it too. [This was my favourite
scene]. Vera lays down and Magenta says that she reminds her of
Cleopatra. Vera is suitably taken in and says that she remembers
a fella who once said that to her and then told her to lie down.
We leave her smirking to her own thoughts, wonderful.
Jim continues to draw on the nation's energy reserves causing
the occasional surge of electricity.
Nicky confesses to a very troubled [and rightly so] Leanne
that he has sent another letter with a photo of her in. Rita can't
believe her ears when he says that he has used their home address.
God, Gail should have drowned him when she had the chance.
We leave this episode with Steve and La Mouton apportioning
guilt for the state that Jim is in. Could the familiar sounds
of them two arguing and whinging be the straw on the camel's back,
or the comforting familiarity that brings him back to consciousness?
Best wishes, Ruth
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