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As Alma's pain worsens, Audrey's concerns turn away from work
and the council to look after her friend. These two actresses
are doing a quality job, they really are. Frank turns up with
a letter for Alma but Audrey won't take it and tells Frank to
sling his hook: "You weren't there when she needed yer."
In the Rovers he finds Curly and wrongly assumes that he knows
about Alma. Curly is devastated by the news and goes round to
see her, angry and hurt at Alma for not telling him the truth.
The pair of them hug and Curly passes on the letter from Frank,
which pleases Alma much less than seeing her special friend.
Now that she's told Curly she's standing down for election,
Audrey canvasses for him instead but as she can't tell anyone
the reason why she's doing this, the electorate are a little confused.
On election night, the votes are in and Curly beats them all,
including the Authentic Curry Party and even the Party for The
Opening of the Third Eye (eh?). This means of course, that he
also beats Audrey who later imparts the wisdom of her years: "Being
a Councillor, I always felt like the Queen, you know, dealing
with all of the ordinary people." Yes Audrey, I think we
always knew that. Curly decides he wants to be a hands-on sort
of councillor and opens No. 7 for the ordinary people to come
and make their views known. Norris wants less street lighting,
Blanche wants more - to help her navigate her way around the dog
dirt on the streets. "Where does it all come from?"
she asks. "Dogs?" replies Norris. So, now Curly's on
the council, his time's going to be taken up with meetings and
schedules, that is, of course, in between running the local superstore
and being an all-round good egg. So it'll be interesting to see
his reaction to Emma's news next week when she tells him she's
just found out that she's pregnant!
Another person whose reaction to Emma's news will be interesting,
to say the least, will be Maxine. Ashley had to give a sample,
you know, at the clinic this week, but he couldn't. So they sent
him away with a little jar to do it at home instead. When the
Peacocks came rushing out of the house on their way to the clinic,
jar held aloft with Ashley shouting "I've done it! I've done
it!", I think we could all safely assume that he had indeed,
done it.
Janice and Bobbi decide to up the stakes for Karen and Steve.
Not content on Karen getting Steve to take her out for a meal,
it's then a holiday they bet on before Janice has a brainstorm.
She and Bobbi bet Karen a day's pay each that Karen can't turn
that holiday into a honeymoon and get Steve to marry her by this
time next week. Not one to let such trivial things concern her,
Karen comes clean with Steve, tells him about the bet and Bob's
your uncle, it's on. They're getting wed, on one condition - Steve
wants half of the money from the bet. The proposal has to be public,
for the sake of the bet, so at an agreed time in the Rovers, Steve
comes in, shoves a bunch of roses in Karen's face, says "Karen,
we haven't known each other very long, but long enough, will you
marry me?". She says yes and they snog. That's it, all done,
it'll be the second time Steve McDonald has married - for money.
Janice and Bobbi are left gobsmacked, as is Vik, who warns Steve
that Karen "isn't the sort of girl that you marry".
Okay, she's a tart but Steve's no angel either - a perfect match,
I'd say. Karen has her hen night in a salsa bar with the girls
(Geena, Hayley, Janice, Linda, Bobbi and Maxine) and at the end
of a very drunken night, confides to Janice that she's only going
through with it because Steve won't dare turn up at the ceremony
tomorrow.
Meanwhile at the stag night, the lads are in the pub (which
looks suspiciously like The Hogshead on Deansgate). Somehow, Ryan
tags along on the stag do after reminding Karen she's got a fella
already - his brother, in prison. As the stripper appears, Curly
does a runner to protect his image as clean living councillor.
After Ashley and Curly have left, Peter's with the stripper but
she'll soon find out he's got as much charm as a dot.com empire
- flashy, empty and a disappointment to millions. And at the end
of the very drunken night, Steve confides to Vik that he's only
going through with it because Karen won't dare turn up at the
ceremony tomorrow. Ho-hum.
After Geena and Dev split up last week, they tried to get back
together again this week. But that was knocked on the head when
Geena caught Dev on the phone to old-flame Rachel. Dev's in a
dilemma, he can't even say 'commitment' never mind offer it, but
he does love Geena, he just doesn't know it yet and he certainly
can't say it. Deirdre's been doing her best to offer support to
both of them, but yes, well, with her record? Shelley gives Geena
some advice on men in the back room of the Rovers. "Are you
craving him?" she asks, and Geena nods before Shelley comes
out with: "It's like an addiction innit? Shame they don't
do patches." After Dev gatecrashes the hen night to whisk
Geena back to his flat, they talk and snog and it looks like they're
back on track once again.
Martin's taken David off on holiday during half-term after
Gail felt he needed more time with his dad. Kicking rubbish around
the street with his friend Simon (who's a dead ringer for Nicky
Platt II, by the way), David gets a clip around the ear from his
mother when she discovers what he's done. The rubbish ends up
in the Platt's back garden, on fire, as David sits down to tea.
Sam rushes in with a bucket of water (how convenient he was loitering
by the back gate at the time) and Doc Ramsden leaps the fence
from next door with his fire extinguisher. The fire's burnt clothes
on the line, the garden's a mess and David's in tears, worrying
about the rabbit. Gail can't get through to him the seriousness
of his actions, he just crumples and cries "I want me dad".
And so father and son have gone off to play happy families for
a week with David packing his own suitcase, containing, you'll
not be surprised to hear, one football, one football shirt and
one computer game.
And finally, this week saw the drag night at the Rovers. Norris
declares "there's only one diva for me" before reading
make up tips in FabFace magazine and raiding Rita's jewellry box
for something un-subtle. As preparations begin in the back room
of the Rovers, Duggie's in stockings and Vik and Steve are flaunting
cleavage the likes of which hasn't been seen there since Bet Lynch
wore Annie Walker's dress back to front. Duggie drags it up as
Dolly Parton to compere the evening and first off are The Shangri-Las.
It's the men from the garage - Sam, Kev, Dennis and Tyrone (looking
mysteriously like Brookside's Bev) singing Leader of the Pack.
Les has to go and spoil it all of course, with a poor Suzi Quatro
that lets the side down, but he's followed by Vik and Steve as
very camp Abba girls. Dancing Queens indeed. And then, oh, and
then, it's Norris. Or was it Eartha Kitt herself? Who knows. The
Kabin's very own sex kitten wins the big prize and deservedly
so, he was wonderful.
And that's just about that for this week. Must go, I've got
a bus load of people to shout at.
Glenda
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