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Saturday 9 June 2012

Coronation Street Weekly Update - March 26 2007

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Events on the cobbles have been dominated by Tracy Barlow’s legal trial which started this week so you’ll forgive me, I hope, if I jump straight in and tackle the trial. We had a special episode this week with just Tracy and Deirdre at the kitchen table, slugging back a bottle of red that Ken had bought from The Sunday Times. I think it was called ‘Vin de Chateau Tory Reader Nouveau Riche Rouge’. As mother drank and smoked her way through the two-hander episode, daughter Tracy told Deirdre the truth about Charlie. Deidre ran the gamut of traumatic emotions in three seconds flat. There was denial: “You don’t mean you planned to kill Charlie Stubbs?” to anger: “You meant to kill him!” and then just before you could utter the words “by ‘eck, this has been rushed a bit” there was finally acceptance: “I don’t like you very much but the love is unwavering”. In the home truths that were flung across the tablecloth, Tracy blamed Deirdre’s perm and specs for turning her psycho. In return Deirdre said the only decent thing about her daughter was the kidney inside her, from Samir, the only man she’s ever loved. It’s just as well Ken wasn’t around to hear that, he was upstairs in bed, dreaming of cardigans or perhaps garrotting Eccles, the dog we never see anymore.

And so to the trial which Ken and Deidre don’t and can’t attend, well, there’s fags to be smoked in the back yard and tears to be shed on the backyard bench.  Deidre tells Ken the truth about Tracy killing Charlie and the two of them stay home as the others take the stand in the court. Blanche takes her paperback to get her through the boring bits and Norris makes a packed lunch for Emily. Up on the stand first is Jason Grimshaw, clearly having taken notes from the Joey Tribbiani School of Acting. Barrister fella in wig: “So, Charlie Stubbs was a man to share his emotions, was he, as he was mixing cement?,” Jason to fella: “No, it was me who mixed the cement”.  Next up is Maria who admits that Charlie tried to down David and finally tonight we had Peter. Evidence from the bloke who knows about such things followed, painting Tracy as a liar due to the angle of her hitting Charlie and the way his blood was splattered up the sof. The jury, sitting there like a panel from the United Nations, watches on and takes it all in, for now.

“I’ve gone into this with my eyes wide open” says Leanne to Janice of her job as a professional slapper. “..and that’s not the only thing!” replies Janice, clearly meaning that Leanne’s purse must be bulging open with all the cash she’s now raking in. Leanne’s got no intention of giving up her job and tells Janice squarely that she’ll have to get used to it, or else she’ll move out. Janice tells her she’ll watch her back for her (doesn’t Leanne offer that as an extra?) and wants to know where she’s going and who she’s doing. It’s like a soap opera version of Pimp My Car, only without the car, if you know what I mean. Leanne tries to put her money into property and tries to buy number seven (where Jamie now lives). She’s gazumped by Liam Connor who strolls over to Jamie, tells him he’s bought the place, he’s moving in and wants the fridge in their lad pad stocked with beer. Now.

Jerry’s takeaway is doing good business and as the chippy on the Street hasn’t been mentioned we can surmise perhaps that Mr Wong’s sales are low and their chips are, er, down. Jerry offers half price meals for pensioners with a special three course take-out, a Jerry Hat Trick (say it quickly, it works). One pensioner not needing to be watching the pennies is Jerry’s dad Wilf who swindles Dev in the corner shop to the tune of fifteen quid with help from grand-daughter Kayleigh. She’s not too happy living in hew new home and wants to go home to little brother Finlay and Mother Theresa, sorry, her mother, Theresa, as Jerry continues to chat up the ladies on the cobbles and amuse them with his nuggets.

Doreen moves into Rita’s flat while her own home is being done up by the council, the same people who do her hair.  Doreen’s worldly goods include a pink feather boa and a bottle of vodka. Norris can only disapprove, which he does. He even tuts and rolls his eyes.

And finally this week, we saw Sarah Platt tell Jason Grimshaw that she’d had a text from Candice saying she was getting wed in Greece and wants Sarah to be her bridesmaid. What? You mean she’s left hairdressing to the stars? What will the Quo do?

And that’s just about that for this week.

Glenda
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