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Danny and Frankie receive their decree absolute, a piece of paper which dissolves their marriage completley and utterly although there's no dimming the flames of desire that flicker in Danny's heart for his ex-missus. You can tell this from the way he mopes on the cobbles every time Frankie's in camera shot. Just when Danny's braced himself to say something to her, he notices the bedroom light go on in his old house, looks up and sees Nathan and Frankie up there, she's probably showing Nathan the copy of Auto Trader she keeps under her mattress. Or something.
Danny's got more problems when Les moves in with him and Leanne - but let me backtrack just a little. For this was the week that Janice Batteresby left the street (although she'll be back, which I'm very happy about. I thought Janice had been under-used for some time and would love to see her return to her original feisty, and let's face it, more attractive, self). Anyway, Janice has been sacked from the factory, her mates are snubbing her and she ends up sleeping with Les while Cilla's at work in the chippy. "I was depressed" says Janice in her defence to Leanne about sleeping with Les. "Or at least if I wasn't before, then I am now!". Janice then has a fight in the Rovers with Sally as Jack bets Fred money on the winner - terrier or bulldog? "Terrier always wins" says Jack, and Sally did, leaving Janice with a bloody nose. She decides to leave to go to stay with Toyah and in one of the most undignified exits the Street's seen in a long time, she waits for the bus with her worldy belongings in two Freshco carrier bags and an old battered suitcase. Fiz comes to see her off and the two of them hug with tears in their eyes and just when it was getting all emotional like, Janice drops her one and only decent possession - China Sheryl - to the cobbles and it smashes to pieces before she gets on the bus and leaves.
So anyway, of course Cilla finds out that Les has slept with Janice and she's really upset and not in a good way. Too distraught to even slap on her slap, a tearful Cilla throws Les out of the house. He stays with Danny and Leanne until they throw him out too and Les ends up sleeping in his cab, with Chesney and Kirk popping in to watch the football with him.
Over at the Barlows, Tracy has the decency to feel a twinge of guilt over leaving Amy at home while she goes on her jollies with Charlie. She sheds a few tears in the privacy of the ladies loo at the Rovers and Charlie can see she's genuinely upset so suggests that when they return from their hols, they let Amy into their lives a bit more. Yeah, right.
Sally's a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Is it her age? Is this what happens to women in a mid-life crisis? Do I have this all to come? Oh no! One minute she were face down in the paperclips on her office desk with a creepy car salesman boss and the next she's driving like a loony through red lights with her daughter locked in the car. Yes, Sally went doolally when she saw Rosie and Craig kissing by the Kabin. She bundled Rosie into the car and sped off to the moors, paying no heed to speed-limits, traffic lights, hysterical shrieks from her daughter. Kevin sped behind in his truck, equipped for all sorts of breakdowns and does what he can to help Sally with hers. As Sally's car skids off the road on a desolate moor, a tearful Rosie hugs Kevin who's come to the rescue. "I'm lost" says a weepy Sally with a far away look in her eye, the kind of lost that the A-Z of Greater Manchester will do little to help. Back home after tears, Rosie tells Sally she'll finish with Craig if it'll stop her mum going of the rails but Sally realises she's in the wrong and tells her daughter to "Stay Close, Stay Safe" and I was expecting her to finish those words of advice off with "Think Once, Think Twice, Think Bike" but she didn't.
Roy continues to undermine his relationship with Hayley by spending more time with Clifford. Is he too polite to tell Clifford to get lost? Where do Roy's priorities lie? Hayley has to go off to spend time with a sick uncle and Roy's left alone with Clifford and the trains, much to Vera's disappointment who tells Roy she thought he was different and now she finds out he's as unreliable as the rest of 'em.
Dr Matt the too-tall doctor stalks Claire and little Josh at the nursery and then suprises Ashley by the lamb shanks. Matt tells Ash he wants his son back and Ashley gets all upset and starts shouting at Claire. I think this one's going to run for a bit, probably involving more shouting, more stalking, a bit of crying, etc.
Emily does her best to cope with her feelings and is heartened when great-neice Freda turns up. Where's Spider then? He hasn't even called his Aunty Em to see how she is, shame on him. Anyway, Freda persuades Emily to go to church but Ed walks in so Emily runs out and Freda ends up pelting the fella with gravel from the churchyard. A concerned Norris witters on and on so Emily throws him out of the house and back to Rita's flat.
And over at Underworld, Kelly's mate Becky from the bad old days ends up working as the factory cleaner. Kelly's trying to keep her past quiet from the girls at the factory but Becky's not so discrete. "I'd rather they think we were school-mates, not cell-mates" Kelly tells her.
And that's just about that for this week. John Dean will be here next week. Adios! Or, as we say in Skegness - "Can you make it again but this time with boiling water?"
Glenda
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