Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of the waffle
Available from amazon.co.uk or amazon.com
Check out the Coronation Street Blog - it's FAB
Glenda was away, this week's update written by CJ Lines.
Hi friends,
As you can see, I'm not Glenda. If you read last week's Weekly Update, provided by the brilliant Ian Harding, then you'll know that Glenda won't be back for another week and you're stuck with me, The Rattler. If you're a regular on RATUCS or #Coro_Street then you most likely already know me... If not, HI! :) I've not done an update before, so this is my maiden voyage, so to speak. I apologise in advance for typing errors, bad grammar, misinformation, my opinions of certain actors and hope I don't offend anyone. Bear this in mind before sending on the flames. :)
So on with the show... This week has proven to be, at least in my opinion, the best week of Corrie all year and has given us some scenes which are *destined* to be remembered as all time classics. I'm going to have a job putting some of this televisual magic into words but I'll give it my best shot... Basically, we've seen a small selection of solid storylines interwoven brilliantly with each other to create the perfect blend of drama, comedy, heartbreak and joy that made Corrie such a long running show, so here's the lowdown on this week's tales. Oh, and I'm leaving the best 'til last, neener neener neener. ;)
On Wednesday, we see Maud (whose taste in hats is becoming increasingly alarming) give the suicidal Jim McDonald a good talking to. A much needed one at that. She reminds him of his soldier days and how it was more about courage and bravery (two things he was currently lacking in) than it was about running around and acting tough. She also reminds him of those less fortunate than him who lost their lives in the name of being a soldier and going to war. It's a mite contrived, but nonetheless a genuinely touching scene and Jim is left choking back tears as he contemplates Maud's words of wisdom. They worked, as by Friday, Jim is in brighter spirits than we've seen him in years, doing wheelies in his chair (Hey, I'm not making this up!) and exchanging jokes with Maud. She says jokingly "All you need now is a haircut.." and sure enough, by Sunday night, Jim gets a major trim, just in time for a touching scene on Monday in which he invites Liz and Steve round for dinner (aka Fish N Chips) to tell them how much he appreciates them standing by him while his head was stuck up his arse and how much he loves them. Aww... I have to say, I much prefer the new perky perky Jim to the mopey mopey one we've had to witness for the last few months.
Politics are rampant on the street this week, with hilarious results. As you know, Spider & Audreh are running for council and frankly, I wouldn't vote for either of them. Airheaded Audrey makes Alec pay 197 or so for a top notch photo shoot only to be mortified at the results. It finally dawns on her that she's, well, a 'mature woman' and her whole delusion that she's glamourous falls to pieces. Unfortunately for those with a sense of shame, the Muppets (Maxime and Fiona) persuade her she's not old and even offer to restyle her hair in the most ghastly fashion. Imagine Grace Jones if she was Audrey's age and white... It's not a pretty sight. Well anyways, it gives RAudreh a new lease of life and she burns the photos Alec paid for (he's beside himself with grief since he paid so much!) and puts up some ridiculous snapshot of her from the 60's on her campaign posters instead. The whole street erupts in laughter as Audrey steals the Liz McDonald "Mutton Dressed As Lamb" Award for 1998.
Over in the Nugent Party camp, events are making an uncanny paralell of disaster. The week starts out with, as you read last week, Spider telling Aunt Em that, if he is elected, he will not actually take the position because it's against his "Anarchist principles"... [As a sidenote, speaking as someone who's more than a little well-read on his Bookchin, Bakunin, etc, I don't think the scriptwriters are quite on the ball with Spider's "Anarchist principles" but I'm willing to ignore this minor fault because it *is* a good storyline and just a soap. ;)] Well, Ken Borelow and Aunt Em persuade Spidey to change his mind (they just nag him 'til he gives in) and even get him to do some ULTRA-CLEAN publicity shots in a garish white suit that brought to mind the video game character Leisure Suit Larry. He even got his hair cut in the same way and the cloth peace-ribbons are gone! Scary... Well, anyways, Spider realises when he sees Audreh's "Mutton Dressed As Lamb" photos that he himself is doing exactly the same. Making himself out to be something he's not in the name of politics. He gets seriously peeved with Aunty Em and embarrasses her in front of a crowd of pensioners who she's enlisted to pin up posters. By Wednesday, however, the two have made up and agreed to come to a compromise. I'll be interested to see how this election business ends up.
The trivial but ashamedly side splitting story this week stems from Vera's new choice of barman, Sandy, who is going down a treat with the ladies and even more of a treat with... errr... Alec Gilroy. No, Alec isn't buttering his bread on the other side just yet, he of course has nefarious money making plans for the bronze skinned, pinheaded action man doll. He realises that with a bod like Sandy's on the books, his escort agency, Golden Years, could seriously profit. Sandy, being the archetypal HIMBO, agrees without question seeing "Male Escort" as being a dream career. All he has to do is sit there and look good... hmm, much like his acting then. Of course it all goes a bit pear-shaped when Sandy takes a day off to run Alec's seedy duties and *gasp* Vera catches him swapping cheques with Pimpy Gilroy. He's out on his ear instantly and by Wednesday is replaced by Natalie Horrocks' niece, Lorraine. To be honest I liked Sandy better. Lorraine is the standard issue dumb blonde female equivalent with even less screen presence. Oh well. Curly seems to take a serious shine to her as he tells Jack and Spider that she's "Beautiful".... Either this is the beer talking or Curly's glasses need a SERIOUS polishing!
The weak link in the chain this week is the Maxine/Greg storyline. Maxine can't afford the deposit for Fred's above-the-cornershop flat so her *ahem* boyfriend Greg offers to take it instead. Naturally naive Max thinks this means they will move in together. As if! Greg palms her off with some of the most cliche'd and pathetic excuses known to prehistoric man and with a few neanderthal grunts and weak kisses convinces Max that he's sincere... AS IF! The real reason he wants the flat is *obviously* so he can get closer to Sally Webster but to add insult to injury on Wednesday we see him not only FLIRTING with Fiona but PUTTING MAXINE DOWN and even *horror of horrors* suggesting she may be a less-than-perfect hairdresser. Well, I was fainting in shock.... of course.... Bah, to be honest, this whole storyline was complete crud in my eyes so I'll move on to the proper stuff...
I told you I'd save the best until last and there's no way in Hell I can compress/condense this into one paragraph so apologies to Glenda, the daily updaters and the readers. I could not do justice to the amazing scriptwriters and actors by writing a mere paragraph... Again, apologies since this is supposed be brief. I have tried to cut it down...
Sir Royston, as we know, is in Amsterdam. He and Hayley do the tourist thing and take a boat ride along the canal. Hayley, with a new sense of confidence which must obviously stem from her relief at finally getting the operation, is fishing, subtly, for Roy to show that he has more than just a "friendship" interest in her, but Roy finds the whole "relationship" business uncomfortable and is heartbreakingly unable to admit his feelings. On the last day of his trip, the two of them are sat outside drinking tea and she asks where their future lies. Roy obviously knows what she means but in a scene so brilliantly acted it defies words, he wrestles with his insecurities and then, in the tension of it all spills tea all over himself. Hayley sees this as being a display of fear and thinks Roy is uninterested. She drops the bombshell that she won't be returning to Weatherfield with him... Roy shakes her hand and walks away, breaking a nation's heart as he goes...
As a thoroughly agonised Roy walks slowly to the airport, Hayley finds a box on the coffee house table. She opens it and inside is a gold watch engraved with the words "To My Friend, Hayley"... Impossible to put into words the emotions on her face but she realises Roy truly does care for her and races to the airport, whereupon she tries to get his attention by banging on the soundproof glass. Of course, Roy is in a world of his own sorrow at the moment and it takes an observant foreign girl behind him to point out Hayley's frantic bashing on the glass. In the most moving scene I have *ever* seen in Corrie, Hayley takes out her lip pencil and writes the words "I'm coming with you" on the glass... It takes Roy a few seconds to read it backwards, but as he does an ecstatic smile creeps across his face. The phrase "Actions speak louder than words" has never been more apt. Maximum Kudos to David Neillson who, in my eyes, is the best actor ever to grace a soap. The hankies were soggy and the buckets were filling.
Customs prove a major hassle for Hayley as she is still a male on her passport, but after a shudderingly horrific yet mercifully brief scene at the airport, the two of them make it home. She stays at Roy's for the night (sleeps on the couch, of course) and just before they both go to sleep, he admits he went to Amsterdam to see her, not just as a random trip as he'd previously said. She pecks him on the cheek. :))
I should wrap this up really... The week ends with the two of them, sitting feeding ducks by the pond which genuinely is, as Hayley says, very romantic in the context. In a truly stunning act of courage for Roy, who is visibly about as experienced as myself in such matters, he tells Hayley in his own inimitable way, he would... like... to... have... a...... relationship with her in the... future. She is absolutely OVERCOME with joy and in undoubtably the most beautiful scene in Corrie this year, they exchange a kiss. There wasn't a dry eye in the house, at least not this house anyway. Magnificent.
So anyway.. That's this week. If ever you needed proof of the true magic that has made Corrie The UK's favourite soap (TM) this is it. I hope you enjoyed my update and if you didn't I apologise and assure you Glenda will be back next week. Until then, take care and enjoy yourself. :)
The Rattler
Follow the Coronation Street Blog on Twitter and Facebook
No comments:
Post a Comment