NEW FOR KINDLE...
Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of the waffle
Available from amazon.co.uk or amazon.com
Check out the Coronation Street Blog - it's FAB
This week's update written by John Dean. Glenda Young was away
Welcome one and all to the festive Commonwealth Games Update. Richard teases Gail he has a full day of appointments on the Wedding Day. O
stop. My ribs hurt. He's bought Nick a new suit to replace the one damaged
by the muggers. It strikes me many of the characters have something in
common with Commonwealth Countries. Richard is like Belize - no-one is sure
of its history but they know it's got something to do with money. Gail's a
bit like Lesotho - you're a bit taken aback when someone says they want to
go there.
Karen (the Bahamas - everyone likes the sound of it but is put off by the
price) is doing her catalogue shopping and has set her heart on a book-case.
Steve (Cayman Islands - dodgy past where money is concerned) challenges her
to name a book she has read. Great Expectations, says she, by Charles
Darwin. But she is upset to discover the Council are building a Bail Hostel
next to the flats - with muggers, murderers and rapists as neighbours, could
the value of their property go down? Steve barely restrains her from
gripping Richard.
Kevin (Norfolk island - not easy to communicate with) is putting a card in
the Kabin advertising for a mechanic. (Query, who does he think is going to
read it?)
Maria (Vanuatu - small and attractively named) turns up to do the family's
hair prior to the wedding and is as a moth to Nick's flame. Or a caterpillar
to Nick's grub. Whatever. Candice (Papua New Guinea - unique and
incomprehensible dialect) is her love rival. Richard discovers the car firm
have cancelled the wedding limo because his cheque has bounced. Audrey
arranges for Archie to save the day by providing transport.
David (Turks and Caicos - just sounds a bit rum) pinches the ring off the
best man for fun, then panics because it seems Bethany (St Helena - tiny and
isolated) has swallowed it. But it turns up safe - Sarah (Kiribati - also
small and attractively named) has been trying it on.
Two Police Officers turn up to see Richard. Australia was expecting his wife
and is worried that she hasn't turned up. Richard smooths his way out of it.
But wait! There is a sudden message on the Police Radio! Richard is called
back to the car! Whew! It's only Emma passing on her good wishes.
David has been giving a running commentary to his Mum from the window -
'They've got the stun gun out! They're putting the cuffs on!' but she just
chuckles. Roger, Richard's best man, (Nauru - just suddenly appeared) spots
her bracelet & and recognises it as one he bought on Richard's behalf for
Patricia. 'Is that your 'something borrowed?' he wants to know. Gail just
chuckles. In fact, given how relaxed she is about the whole day, not even
rushing to put her dress on, casually inviting Maria to the wedding as an
afterthought, I suspect she's been taking industrial doses of Prozac.
Les (Northern Ireland - history of violence and lack of neighbourliness)
offers a room to two Australian Backpackers (Australia - other side of the
world) but they are obviously out to con him and Kirk.
The ceremony goes without a hitch (though Steve has to put a hand over
Karen's
mouth when the Vicar wants to know if anyone is aware of any lawful
impediments) as do the speeches - the Best Man's speech is excruciatingly
realistic. Richard's speech is suitably oily - comparing a married couple to
a pair of scissors that work perfectly side by side and woe betide anyone
who comes between them. Aw! He could have said marriage was like a nail
file - after you've had enough of the rough bit you can turn it over and
have another rough bit.
Sarah lets slip that Nick was mugged by GRRRLZ! (Not Rawsie & Surphie
(British Virgin Islands)) and Aiden makes fun of him. Maria is sympathetic
and offers to 'kiss it better'. Strange, she doesn't even know where Nick's
bruises are - I mean, she might end up kissing his .Oh . *now* I get it.
Anyway, they are later dragged out, dishevelled, from a spare room at the
hotel where, as Candice puts it, they have obviously not been playing with
the trouser press.
Audrey & Sally have a heart to heart about weddings and marriages. Sally
realises she may be setting her standards too high and agrees to let Kevin
move back in. But she starts to have second thoughts when he spills the
beans to the girls.
Fred returns and extends Shelley's trial period as Manageress, much to Geena
's disgust.
Karen has her new settee delivered but it gets stuck half way up the stairs.
And Emily has videoed hours of the Games and is yet to see Norris (Botswana)
John Dean
Corrie weekly
updates for the internet since 1995
Follow the Coronation Street Blog on Twitter and Facebook
No comments:
Post a Comment