Corrie weekly updates from 1995, 17 years in 17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of the waffle
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Tracy joins the cast of Bad Girls this week, sharing a cell with big Brenda the offender. Mind you, whoever she shared a cell with, they wouldn’t, couldn’t be as bad as the one her mum Deirdre shared with when inside the Big House, the scouser Jackie Dobbs. Just typing her name brings a shiver to my keyboard. Ken and Deirdre spend their week flitting between the cobbles and the cell block, visiting Tracy. She meets with her hot-shot lady lawyer Jane Simon who reckons she’ll have her out on bail and out of jail in no time. She even arranges for Tracy to go to Charlie’s funeral, with a prison guard and on condition that Ken and Deirdre go too. Jason’s arranged it which confused me somewhat. How did the thicky builder do it so quickly and so right? Jason’s so dim he’d even get the answer wrong to a telly phone-in quiz. Question: Who did Tracy Barlow murder? Was it a) Prince Charles, b) Charlie and the chocolate factory or c) Charlie Stubbs? Anyway, at the church on one side sit a bunch of unwashed Neanderthals needing no introduction as mates of the deceased. On t’other side sit Jason and Sarah, and a weeping Maria is comforted by a demented David Platt. Tracy sits at the back with her sad face on and her parents by her side as Charlie’s coffin slides through the hatch to the tune from the advert for Hamlet cigars.
Demon David Platt is slowly turning into granny Ivy Tilsley this week. After Charlie’s funeral he tries to kiss Maria after comforting her in the church. “Urgh! Get away from me you little freak!” she yells at him. So, that’ll be a no then? Rejected by Maria, unloved by his mum and unwanted by anyone else, David devises a plan to get the attention he craves and tells the cops that Charlie tried to drown him in the bath (which was true) but then he says he saw Tracy murder Charlie Stubbs (which was a great big fat fib). Tracy’s let loose on bail and hits the Street to hunt down David, who’s a the cop shop telling them his lies. Audrey and Sarah have the good sense to take it all with a big pinch of salt but Gail, as always, believes her son is telling the truth. When Tracy finds David, she grabs him by the scruff of his neck and hauls him into the house, demanding to know what he’s said to the rozzers. It’s clear that he’s made it up but as it’s in Tracy’s favour, she encourages his fib. But David’s not so dumb and when he starts to realise that Tracy is colluding with his made-up story, he wonders just how grateful she’ll be for him lying to the coppers.
Norris is up to no good on the computer in the back room of the Kabin. Rita’s rightly got her eye on him, well, when men are left to their own devices with a PC in a darkened room, it’s easy for them to get confused and before you know it they’ve gone one click from looking at their football heroes to ogling the big baps brigade. But Norris isn’t like that, or at least, not while Rita’s looking. He’s surfing Classmates Reunited and tempts Rita into finding her mates and memories from her days singing in the clubs. He does a search for Charlie Roscoe’s Exotic Dance Troupe and Rita waits to hear if any of her old pals will get in touch, or indeed, are still alive.
Over at the chippy, Cilla slaps Yana by the deep fat fryer and once slapped, the two slappers make up and are mates again, nuff said. Les is told the news and advised to shut up and get the drinks in, if he knows what’s best for him. Meanwhile, Chesney’s moved in with Fiz and she’s doing her Superwoman bit to look after her little brother, feeding him healthy stuff and doing his washing. Both Cilla and Les want Ches to come home, but he stands his ground and sits down on Fiz’s sofa.
It’s Paul and Carla Connor’s 8th wedding anniversary and she’s not too happy when he goes off into town with brother Liam on the beer as she stands by the bar in the Rovers, supping alone. Carla decides to get her own back on Paul and fixes a night out with Liam, Jo and Kelly from the factory and tells Paul she wants to celebrate their anniversary with the lot of them instead of a quiet two-some in the precinct pizza parlour, the one with the red checky tablecloths, cheap wine, garlic bread, you know the sort of place. Jo’s got her eye on Liam who’s got his eye on her back (and her front, her up and down and her round and round). Sadly, Kelly also thinks she’s in with a chance at Liam but those 36” legs, big hair, winning smile and lucky pants aren’t going to do her any favours this time. It’s Jo that Mr Connor wants and it’s Jo that Mr Connor gets as he snogs Jo by the bobbins on the factory floor.
Roy and Hayley offer to help raise some money for Becky to put down the deposit on her own flat. They rifle through some of their old tat in the attic and come up with stuff that Becky can sell at a car boot. Roy finds some first edition Eagle comics and a ray gun, worth a fortune to a collector so he’s not best pleased when he finds out that Becky’s taken them to the car boot to sell of as junk. However, he briefs a sigh of relief when Becky returns with his goodies in a box after she refused to sell them to a fella with sweaty hands. When Roy finally gets an evaluation on the old comics, it comes in at a whopping fifteen hundred pounds.
And finally this week, newcomers Jodie Morton and granddad Wilf joined the Street. These two are the first of a new family that’ll be headed up by the fella who once played Sinbad on Brookside. Jodie catches the eye of the Devster in the pub, who demands to know why old Wilf calls him Chief. Some people do, but Dev wonders if the old guy is racist and points out to Jodie the importance of remembering people’s names. “See-ya, Nev!” says Jodie as she waltzes out of the Rovers to check on the state of Diggory’s old bun shop which she’s bought to re-open as a junk food outlet. Yes, poor Roy has competition for food once again.
And that's just about that for this week.
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