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Written by Janet Waterhouse as Glenda was away.
In her supportive wifely way, Karen is telling all and sundry
about Streetcar's troubles, causing more dissension in the ranks.
Mike Baldwin makes a few slanderous comments at Streetcar's expense
and everyone gets hot under the collar.
Back at Roy's Rolls, Hayley becomes teary-eyed while chopping
onions and Roy quotes from Shakespeare's Anthony and Cleopatra.
She's flattered but not for long as table three needs cheeseburgers
and Les is waiting on his egg and chips. However, the latter does
have a few moments to let Maria know the implications of Bobbi's
actions.
Feeling guilty, Maria confides in Karen who runs off to let
the Streetcar Three (Vik, Steve and Eileen) know that it was indeed
Vik who was responsible (sort of) for the vengeful activities.
Roy has noticed that Ken has not attended any historical society
meetings lately and springs the news that the half-Bajoran Anita
(I hope other people watch Star Trek and understand the reference)
has moved away. They need a new president, so Ken suggests Roy
put himself forward for consideration.
Sally's having money troubles because there's a new DIY Superstore
opened up in town. She can't afford to buy Rosie new trainers,
so her ever-resourceful daughter hits on dad who coughs up. Sally
whinges to Jason and Gail that there's been no customers other
than Gail looking for a screw or two (at half nine on a Bank Holiday??)
and takes it out on Martin. However, she has "A Plan"
- Richard could provide his special services to help her out.
Right.
Curly and Emma argue over escorting Charlie to the clinic until
Curly finds a new cause in the fight to stop the closure of the
creche. The sit-in organised by Sarah Lou hasn't worked - the
Gazette reporter seemed more interested in her age (15) and that
of her child (2). Audrey is mortified to find her granddaughter's
story all over the front page, but far from being embarrassed,
Sarah has requested a copy of the photo. Curly's groupies accompany
him to the council meeting where he interrupts the important decision
over where to place hanging baskets to plead movingly for continued
support of the creche. When that doesn't work, he calls for a
blockade of the parking lot so the councillors can't get out.
Naturally, the police send their finest - Emma - to deal with
the situation!
She's immensely annoyed with him, particularly when he won't
cease and desist. She packs him into the back of the Black Mariah
(well, the cruiser anyway) for a caution and a slap on the wrist
back at the police station for him and a load of stick from her
fellow officers for her. He later apologises and seriously considers
giving up council work to be a good dad to Ben. Sarah's well irritated,
particularly when the only place she's offered is a bus ride away
on the other side of Weatherfield. It beats me why she just doesn't
ask Curly to mind Bethany, too.
I must admit that Kirk (still known in our house as Darren
off The Royle Family) is rapidly becoming one of my favourite
characters. It's sheer magic when he and Tyrone get together!
Kirk has a great get-rich quick scheme which Ty can join for 10
quid and the leather jacket Fizz gave him back when they broke
up. He's invested in 200 Belgian chocolate Easter eggs which they
desperately try to flog first to Dev, then Norris. Neither of
them will bite (so to speak) and the situation is compounded by
Maria's refusing to store them at her's any more.
In the corner shop, Kirk gets on Sunita's nerves when he asks
a series of questions about the chocolate covered apples. This
looks like a winner as Easter has come and gone without a single
sale (though Vera gave Tyrone what-for when she caught Jack nibbling).
The Duckies take Monica for a very long walk, leaving just enough
time for Kirk to bring his partner in on Plan B.
He's purchased a load of apples from the market. "But,
they're manky!" cries Tyrone. Ah yes, but who'll notice them
under a coating of chocolate? They fill a tray full and as there's
not enough room in the fridge for the chocolate to harden, Kirk
covers them with a tea towel and pops them into the back yard
while Tyrone prepares a couple of bacon butties (running your
own business takes a lot out of a man).
The Duckies and doggie return and Monica's keen nose sniffs
out a new treat to try. Tyrone is gutted that all their hard work
will come to nowt. Kirk points out that all they have to do is
rinse them under the tap, pop another layer of chocolate on, and
bob's your uncle!
Maxine is getting more and more annoyed by what she sees as
Charlie's deliberate snubs towards her. Finally, she and the bump
borrowed from Hayley in the "big house" waddle next
door to have it out with her. In a fit of rage, Charlie screams
that she's pregnant and having an abortion, though as a blonde
bimbo of a hairdresser, she certainly doesn't expect her to understand.
Mind you, Charlie generally behaves as though she doesn't expect
Maxine to understand that you eat breakfast in the morning.
However, in what passes for Maxine's tiny little mind, a plan
is formulating and surprisingly for a female member of the street,
it doesn't involve Richard. If she tells Matt, he can stop Charlie.
In this way, Matt will finally get the baby he longs for and leave
her alone. Initially Matt doesn't believe her, but then rushes
home to hear the news from his own beloved's lips. However, she
is determined to go through with the termination and not even
Matt banging on the taxi window crying "Noooooo..."
can stop her. Surprisingly, driver Les doesn't seem to catch on.
Upon her return, Matt has calmed down and wants to discuss
their future together. But Charlie can't imagine that they have
one - after all, Matt could never forgive her. Evidently having
never heard that "Two wrongs don't make a right", Matt
confesses that he'll forgive her if she'll forgive him and blurts
out about his one night stand with Max and that the baby she's
carrying is probably his. He actually seems stunned when Charlie
doesn't grasp the opportunity with both hands (something which
the doctor should have avoided himself, obviously) but instead
tosses him into the street (not literally, though I myself would
have). In her anguish, she turns to her best friend, the bottle.
Peering out from behind the net curtains, Max sees Matt with
his bags. Anyone else would have wondered what to do for the best
and then done it but, proving that she's as big a nincompoop as
we always thought she was, the crimper pops round to Charlie for
a chat. It only serves to further enrage the drunken schoolteacher
who furiously taunts that as Max didn't keep her secret from Matt,
she doesn't feel the need to keep Max's from Ashley.
Good old Ashley, friend and Samaritan to all, is having a spring
clean in the butcher's with Uncle Fred/Dad who waxes lyrical about
how shoving out all the muck and rubbish is good for the soul,
then in an ironical juxtaposition which I for one appreciated,
discusses Maxine. Ashley is concerned that Max isn't eating properly.
Dad/Uncle Fred forgets that Max is a veggie (burger) and touts
the sweetness and symmetry of a Barnsley chop, I say a Barnsley
chop, for tea. Living on the right side of the Pennines, I not
only can vouch for the melting goodness of lamb slowly braised
for hours but have even been to Barnsley. Canadian viewers will
understand immediately when I mention that Barnsley is known to
all of us wearing flat caps whilst racing our pigeons and walking
our whippets as the Newfoundland of Yorkshire. I can, however,
highly recommend the Button Mill Inn on the A61/Barnsley Road
outside Birdwell for one of the best Barnsley chops you will ever
taste.
Matt is apparently suffering from temporary amnesia and forgotten
that he vowed that Max meant nothing to him, it was only a one
night stand and it's really Charlie he loves. Aside: is anyone
else distracted by the furry bathroom mat the doctor wears on
his chest so that it takes extra concentration to hear what he
is saying, or is it just me? Ah, just me then.
Now, where was I ... oh yes, Matt starts banging on the Peacock's
front door yelling that he's already lost one baby, he's not going
to lose another ... it's not over! Maxine covers her ears while
I wondered what happened to Blanche as her ears normally prick
up at even a whisper of scandal.
Off Matt goes to the Rovers to be comforted by Ash, who insists
that Matt moves in with them, but Matt comes to his senses and
says no. Ashley had been round to Charlie to try and patch the
Ramsdens up, but though she revealed Matt's affair, didn't have
the heart to tell him who the hussy was. Matt pretends that Charlie
still hasn't forgiven him for the incident ten years ago with
her best friend. Of course, poor Ash can't remain in blissful
ignorance forever, can he?
And that's it from me for this week. A belated choccie egg
to you all. I'm counting down the days to the next Bank Holiday!
Janet
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